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The website wouldn't be complete without some kick-ball and hit-ball..
 

 

" I miss Murray!"
Derek Daly and Bob Varsha might mean well, but they're just not Murray.......
_______

Watching Formula One in Florida means getting up bloody early. I can handle that. I've even got used to the action being interrupted by ads for Delphi Automotive - "And you rejoin us just as David Coulthard was passed in a stunning overtaking manoeuvre by Jensen Button who has gone into the lead from seventeenth..." (in my dreams....)

But I really miss Murray Walker. The Speedvision commentary team have never come up with such gems as "Now, in case there is any confusion - Coulthard leads and has yet to stop, Hakkinen leads and has yet to stop."

If you're like me and have missed out on Murrayisms in recent years, here they are...

"And now excuse me while I interrupt myself!"

"This is lap 26 which, unless I'm very much mistaken, is halfway through this 58 lap race."

"Alboreto into the pits and I'm going to stop the startwatch."

"There is a man with a great Grand Prix future behind him!"

"There is nothing wrong with the car except that it is on fire."

"...Ralf Schumacher, son of Michael Schumacher..."

"The first four cars are both on the same tyres."

"There's been a major malmisorganisation problem there!"

"And Michael Schumacher is actually in a very good position. He is in last place."

"With half the race gone there is half the race still to go."

"The crowd holds its joint breath!"

"Look up there! That's the sky!"

"A sad ending, albeit a happy one, here at Montreal for today's Grand Prix."

"I imagine the conditions in those cars today are totally unimaginable."

"Schumacher is either coming into the pits on this lap or he's not."

"Twenty four points for Schumacher, twenty three points for Hill, so there's only one point between them if my mental arithmetic is correct.

"The beak of the Ayrton Senna chicken is pushing its way through the shell."

"...and now he is on Lap 77 out of 73!"

" ... and Edson Arantes di Nascimento, commonly known to us as Pele hands the award to Damon Hill, commonly known to us as... Damon Hill "

"It's raining and the track is wet!"

"And now the boot is on the other Schumacher!"

"I make no apologies for their absence. I'm sorry they're not here."

"This would have been Ayrton Senna's third win in a row had he won the two before."

"He's here again for the first time."

"A mediocre season for Nelson Piquet as he is now known and always has been."

"And Michael Schumacher, as I expected, is now extending his lead over Michael Schumacher!"

"And that just shows you how important the car is in Formula One racing."

"...in 12th and 13th the two Jaguars of Eddie Irvine."

"This is an interesting circuit because it has inclines, and not just up, but down as well."

"The Benetton...handling superbly as ever. Williams have worked very, very hard on this car at the beginning of the season."

"Even in five years' time, he (Coulthard) will still be four years younger than Damon Hill."

"Jenson Button ... driving like the veteran he is not."

"And Nelson Piquet must be furious with himself inside his helmet."

"And we have had 5 races so far this year, Brazil, Argentina, Imola, Schumacher and Monaco!"

"We are in lap 19 of lap 19."

"This is lap 54. After that it's 55, 56, 57, 58 ...

"Either the car is stationary or it's on the move."

"For the second time in the very recent future ..."

"He's shedding buckets of adrenaline in that car!"

"We now have exactly the same situation as at the beginning of the race, only exactly opposite."

"His hopes, which were nil before, are absolutely zero now."

"Ralf Schumacher has been upstaged by the teenager, Jenson Button, who is 20."

"He can't decide whether to have his visor half open or half closed."

"The status quo could well be as it was before."

"Heinz Harald Frentzen has already won three Grands Prix this year - two of them last year..."

"Speaking from memory, I don't know how many points Piquet has got."

"There are four different cars filling the first four places."

"Oh that's the Forti, and, it looks like, er, its Roberto Moreno's car , the er Brazilian .. I was going to say the elderly Brazilian , he's only 36 but he's actually the oldest driver in the race at the present moment, though he's just retired from it!"

"And that's one of the mechanics using a feeler gauge to measure the depth of tread in the slick."

Camera cuts to single tyre in the middle of the track. Murray: " And look at that tyre! Someone had better go and get that quickly (As if on cue, marshall runs out and grabs it) WELL DONE LAD!"

"He (Jackie Stewart) will not produce a winner, but if he can produce second, it will be the next best thing."

"The faster he goes the quicker he'll get to the pits. The slower he goes the longer it will take"

"There goes Panis in the Prost. For years we knew them as Ligiers, because that is what they were called."

"With two laps to go then the action will begin, unless this is the action, which it is."

"The battle is well and truly on if it wasn't before, and it certainly was."

"Now, in case there is any confusion - Coulthard leads and has yet to stop, Hakkinen leads and has yet to stop."

"He's in front of everyone in this race except for the two in front of him."

"It's not quite a curve. It's a straight actually!"

Murray: "And there are flames coming from the back of Prost's car as he enters the swimming pool."
James: "Well, that should put them out then."

"Now he must not go the wrong way round the circuit, and unless he can spin himself stationary through 360 degrees I fail to see how he can avoid doing so."

"... the man who won in 83, 85, and 86, so this could be his hat trick."

"It looks as though this year there will be seventeen Grands Prix for the World Championship, compared with the traditional seventeen."

"Barrichello is about to drive in his fourth race for Ferrari, following the great Ayrton Senna who never drove for Ferrari."

"And Panis is almost literally laughing his head off in that car."

"And will Jacques Villeneuve be racing with Williams next year? Well, we will only know that in the future."

The flying Finn in front from Scotland"...

"And here is Gabriele Tarquini in 3rd place who has already driven for 31 Formula One Grand Prix teams.... Ahum.... I don't know if we've have that many but I'm sure that if we did so Gabriele didn't drive for all of them!!!"

"I've no idea what Eddie Irvine's orders are, but he's following them superlatively well."

"Do my eyes deceive me, or is Senna's Lotus sounding rough?"

"Alboreto has dropped back up to fifth place. As you look at the first four, the significant thing is that Alboreto is 5th."

"I don't know my Madrids from my Jerez" (Brundle then chuckled 'shall I cancel my hotel in Madrid then?')

"Frentzen is taking, er..., reducing that gap between himself and Frentzen."

Murray: "Ferrari won't be developing their car anymore this season"
Brundle: "How do you know that?"
Murray: "I was there when I said it"

"They're both super starters, but Mika Hakkinen is a superer starter!"


"....and Berger finishes his flying lap to begin a quick one..."

"And that piece of water on the right is not the St. Lawrence Seaway, it is the Olympic rowing strip which I have walked down."

"A battle is developing between them...I say developing because it's not yet on."

"... and the Peugeot cup of misery is filled past overflowing"

Murray: "And Barrichello has a good chance to pass Trulli here..."
Martin: "Actually, those waved yellow flags will prevent that in this section"

"STOP! STOP! Under the bridge there! That's a Williams Renault ... my guess is it's Villeneuve, I'm not going to make any statements until we see the driver ... IT'S HILL! It's Damon Hill!"

"BMW are entirely new to Formula One. They left it so long ago!"

"With modern technology and fantastic car-to-pits radio, Piquet now knows he can see Prost in front of him

"Its Senna, its Senna," Pause.. "its either Mansell or Senna."

When Pedro Diniz's Sauber caught fire " Fire! Fire! Diniz in the oven"

"Freedom of Budapest for Bernie Ecclestone. Theres a laugh. He could buy the place and still have enough left for Berlin."

James: "Situations like this, Murray, sometimes give rise to the funniest little things. There's one portable toilet at the end of the pit-lane. Michael Schumacher decided immediately upon rejoining the grid he wanted to go to it. And shortly afterwards Mika Hakkinen and Ralf Schumacher arrived and had to stand in an orderly queue while Michael spent a penny, and they all came back out again."
Murray: "So the Germans got to the loo first of all."

"McLaren and Ferrari have won six races each this year. Mika Hakkinen has won three, David Coulthard has won three, Michael Schumacher has won five and Rubens Barrichello has won five."

"This will be Williams' first win since the last time a Williams won."

"If that isn't a lap record I'll eat the hat I don't normally wear."

"And the rain came down and washed the circuit dry"

"Jean Alesi is reborn. Last year he was driving a car that he couldn't have done well in even if it had had two engines in it, never mind one."

"Only a few more laps to go and then the action will begin, unless this is the action, which it is."

Murray: "Now we go on to another 16 races, the next one is at Brazil, Sao Paulo, in two weeks time."
Martin: "I'm going to Malaysia, first, Murray."
 

"The Jordans lead on lap 40 and er. .. If you haven't got your heart in your mouth then you jolly well should have!"
 

Murray: "How do they do that, Martin? How does a man talk calmly and especially to his team boss, when Damon in the situation he's in?"
Martin Brundle: "Well, you press a little button on the steering wheel and start talking, Murray."

"Damon Hill is leading and behind him are the second and third men!"

"The two McLaren drivers are so hot they look like 2 fried lobsters in silver suits"

".. the yellow intimidating colour of that Ferrari ..."

"Coulthard leads the Europe GP, and now all he needs to do is avoid trouble, OH THATS COULTHARD OUT!!!"

Murray: "That's a Benetton upside down"
Martin: "It's a Sauber"


"And once again the determination, the sheer grit, the driving skill, and the tactics of Alan Jones allied to the legendary reliability of the Williams car is paying off .... (then) Jones is in TROUBLE!!!"

"Michael Schumacher has just gone round in 1.4 seconds!"

"Schumacher is the fastest man on the track. He's going round quicker than anybody else."

"Nigel Mansell had a problem with the wheel-nut on his Williams, then he went on to win brilliantly for Ferrari!"

"The Benetton...handling superbly as ever. Williams have worked very, very hard on this car at the beginning of the season."

"Even in five years' time, he (Coulthard) will still be four years younger than Damon Hill."

"Nigel Mansell is in third position! He's gone up from seventh to sixth to fourth to fifth and now to third!"
 

"And I usually say that if anything is going to go wrong with the car, it has done by now, but I'm not going to say that about Jacques Villeneuve ... Oh! I already have."

"As you look at the first four, the significant thing is that Alboretto is fifth."

"And now Jacques Laffitte is as close to Surer as Surer is to Laffitte."

"He's obviously gone into the pits for a wheel change. I say 'obviously' because I can't see it."

"As you can see, visually, with your eyes ..."

" ... and cruel luck for Alesi, second on the grid. That's the first time he had started from the front row in a Grand Prix, having done so in Canada earlier this year."

"At Silverstone Eddie Irvine led with Irvine second, now it's the other way round!""

"Jean Alesi is 4th and 5th!"

"The gap between the two cars is 0.9 of a second which is less than one second."

"You can cut the tension with a cricket stump."

"And the track temperature has in fact risen in degrees!"

"Just under ten seconds for Mansell. Call it nine point five seconds in round figures."

"Nigel Mansell! The man of the race, the man of the day, the man from the Isle of Man"

"There are only four cars out on the circuit at the present moment and two of them are in the garage."

"This race will actually develop into a Grand Prix"

"And look at that! ... out ... that ... and... colossal ... it.. that's Mansell! ... that is NIGEL MANSELL!" (Tyre blow-out at 1986 Australian Grand Prix)

"There's only one second between them! One! That's how long a second is."

"...and this is the third placed car about to lap the second placed car."

"So Bernie [Ecclestone], in the seventeen years since you bought McLaren, which of your many achievements do you think was the most memorable?"
BE: "Well I don't remember buying McLaren." [Ecclestone owned the Brabham team].

"There's a fiery glow coming from the back of Berger's Ferrari!" James Hunt: "No Murray, that's his rear safety light."

"Ukyo Katayama is undoubtedly the best Formula1 driver that Grand Prix racing has ever produced."

"Andrea de Cesaris, the man who has won more Grands Prix than anyone else without actually winning one of them."

"And there's a dry line appearing in the tunnel....that's of course because it's got a roof."

"Nelson Piquet that brilliant Brazilian from Brazil."

"Mansell is slowing it down, taking it easy. Oh no he isn't! It's a lap record!"

"Into lap 53, the penultimate last lap but one."

"...and he's lost both right front tyres"

Murray : "How did you get that nasty bump on your head Nigel?" [Nigel leans forward to show the camera as Murray pokes it with his finger !]
Nigel: "OUCH!!"

"You might not think that's cricket, and it's not, it's motor racing"

Jim R.: "It's over to the big Easter Bunny of Formula 1, Murray Walker."
Murray: "I don't know about the big Easter Bunny, Jim. I used to go to the Bunny Club in Park Lane quite a lot, but my wife's watching the programme so enough of that!"

"And Hill congratulates Schumacher. They're not bosom buddies, but they're not far off!"

"...and there's no damage to the car, except to the car itself."

"Schumacher wouldn't have let him past voluntarily. Of course he did it voluntarily, but he had to do it"

"That's history. I say history because it happened in the past"

"His car is absolutely unique!....except for the one behind it....which is exactly the same."

"Anything happens in Grand Prix racing and it usually does"

"Schumacher's slowing! He's going to stop!"
Martin Brundle: "No Murray that's a 'slo-mo' action replay."

Murray: "First man out is Marques in the Arrows. Of course he's going out early to generate some media interest"
Martin: "I'm sure he would generate some interest if he went out in the Arrows because Marques drives for Minardi"

"What's that? There's a BODY on the track!!!"
Hunt: "Um, I think that that is a piece of BODY-WORK, from
someone's car.",)

The European drivers have adapted to this circuit extremely quickly, especially Paul Radisich who's a New Zealander".

"Schumacher has made his final stop three times!"

"There are a lot of IFs in Formula One, in fact IF is Formula One backwards!"
 


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